Lois? Did your heart ever want to ask something, but...your head was too afraid of what the answer might be?

Oh! ...Oh, God... Sometimes...it's best not to ask those questions. Sometimes, we should cherish what we already have, like... a very special friendship. Let's say like the one you and I share, that...someone like me wouldn't change for anything in the world.

Someone like me wouldn't...change it for anything in the world either.

I'm glad.

..... Okay, j-just to be clear, we...we were talking about me being in love with you and you rejecting me, right?

Yes.

'm just making sure.

..... Say we were both drunk and we knew we wouldn't remember...?

Well I'd have to be really, really--NO!!

--Brian and Lois Griffin from Family Guy's "Brian in Love" episode.

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WOW WHO KNEW I'D HAVE A STRANGE AFFINITY FOR DOG CHARACTERS?? I mean, Sirius BLACK, and Brian GRIFFIN--I mean, I HATE dogs, right? Well, I don't HATE them, but I am kinda scared of them and get thoroughly annoyed with them, but...

All right. Let's set the matter straight. Random onlookers don't have to read this, but the rest of you who care in the least might wanna know what's been going on... Actually, not so much what's been GOING ON, but how I feel...something I never was good at putting down in words...

I, like the rest of the pitiful human race, am incredibly happy and disappointed with my life--which, might I add, I realized a bit too late wasn't my OWN life but a life of paying off and living with someone else's debt. And I, like the rest of the overly emotional and still pitiful human race, am heartbroken. My heart is dust. I'm not trying to act like I'm the only person whose heart has ever been broken, no, it's just...well...it's the first time it's happened to me. Then again, I guess that's what happens when you become completely enamored with a customer who USED to come in and buy a venti coffee of the day every morning except some Fridays and suddenly disappears without a trace. Except there IS a trace. He's going to OTHER Starbucks. Then again, this is my fault, like everything else. It's MY fault that I make an incorrect drink because one of my co-workers mis-calls a drink because she can hardly understand English and speaks quiet like a mouse even when I have two pitchers of milk steaming at one time and maybe even a blender going for the idiot who decided to order a Frappuccino in the blistering cold early morning hours. It's MY fault that I thought it was a good idea to go out and get one of the most socially demanding retail jobs despite the fact that I'm a hermit and simply can not relate or connect with anyone I come across...not even my friends. I don't know if it's because I don't care about anything, or if it's because I'm so unhappy and dislike myself so much that I cannot be happy for others anymore nor can I make others happy. I think I startled my guy friend who pays a little too much attention to me despite the fact that he's in LOVE with someone else when I told him that I hardly missed people. We were on the subject of he missing particular customers and people because he'll be quitting soon. Because he's going back to school. To the school that I went to that he was thrown out of initially because his grades were awful. He better not disappoint me this time. At least he HAS a choice.

I mean, seriously, guys...when is it going to end??

Oh, it's not?? ... All right.

.....

Do you have ANY idea how long it has been since I actually completed a piece of my own art that wasn't on a black chalkboard in that hellhole that I work in--a piece of art that I put what's left of my disintegrated heart into?? Do you have ANY concept how annoyed I am with the fact that I'll have to be back in that hellhole in a matter of hours to be the machine who has to make drinks for regulars that I've known for over six months and STILL don't know how to connect with?

Do you have ANY idea how many times I've listened to Go West's "King of Wishful Thinking" while I was doing this?