...Haha, HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh me, oh my.

This one has a story too. You might want to go out and have a cigarette (if you smoke), or grab yourself a cup of instant coffee if you're willing to read through all this drivel I'm about to subject you to.

My sister has a boyfriend--one that I'm rather fond of. He's my age, we're born the same month, and we get along famously (Chinese Zodiac Wood Rat much?? yes). Of course I had to include him in my Christmas card list.

When I was planning and plotting this card endeavor post-Thanksgiving, I told him that I wasn't really much into buying gifts for Christmas--I made cards instead, when and if I had the money to buy the supplies. He liked the idea. Said it was more personal than just going out and buying any old thing and hoping for the best. I am terrible when it comes to buying gifts anyway. I'm also a bit shit at wrapping them, but for some reason I really enjoy origami...

In any case, I was completely at a loss for what to MAKE for him. I hadn't even designed anything for him up until a couple ago. Thankfully, he and my sister were talking, shootin' shit, what have you, and he said that if I was making a card for him...

...make sure there's BOOBS in it.

My sister promptly relayed this information to me, and I got started immediately. I decided to combine both of our "loves". I think it's obvious that he loves boobs, and I love art.

After a great many hours researching and studying (I'm uneducated, you see), I came up with this "gem". I actually LEARNED while doing this, too, which was grand.

Palaeolithic: derived from an online collection, "medicine in art". I got the gesture from the body of a medicine man from a cave drawing. Probably Lascaux. Details, whatever.
Minoan: Referenced, however loosely, from the Blue Ladies fresco at Knossos Palace.
Ancient Egypt: In all the art pieces I found for Egypt, I had noticed that they never depicted a naked woman. Which is fine. I don't think Neferati, or Nefertiti would really be keen on exposing themselves for whatever reason. But I did find it interesting that the figures look relatively the same--only distinguished by their headdresses, or what they were wearing. I know a great many of you already know this, but I feel it necessary to emphasize this. The Egyptians conveyed the human form as such: head at profile; chest at frontal; feet at profile. If you get what I'm saying, that means there really is no room to draw women's hips, the projecting breasts at profile. The form of woman, and man, were depicted, virtually, as equals.
Romanticism: I like it. I'm into that realistic jazz. Nothing more to say.
Impressionism: ...Well, it is what it is. I never was really into Impressionism. I can appreciate it, of course. But it's not my preferred method of getting across how I feel.
Pointillism: Is really hard to pull off, especially on a small scale. Damn it. Moving on.
Cubism: ...Like Impressionism, I can appreciate it. I can appreciate it now, more, after attempting it. But the idea of extracting all forms as spheres, cones, and cylinders...don't we all, as people who appreciate and are interested in art, do that anyway? And then to throw them all back onto a canvas just because you can? Well...if you're THAT bored...then whatever floats your boat, man. Whatever makes you happy.
Modern (ASCII): Simplified. Definitely. But I think the point is there.
Meliocentrism hasn't made its mark in history, per se, because it's on-going. I'll break it down for you this way:
The universe we live in is Heliocentric. I'm a Leo. My ruling planet is the sun. So, the universe is actually ME-liocentric. It revolves around me. :B Yes guys that's actually a joke. I use it a lot at work. In any case, the last section is something more or less that I would do, with colors that, upon scanning and transferring across the internet, would make your computer explode (so much for a restricted palette)! And I really really like the color blue. And I also have the smallest depicted rack, and it's no exaggeration.

...So here you are. Take notes, ladies and gentlemen, there will be a test after the new year.

Cardstock, Copic Markers, Prismacolor-ed pencils, black Copic liner, Sakura Pen-Touch Gold liner (for Ancient Egyptian), and a whole lot of fun.